he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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