Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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