btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
