What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
