Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
