would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I want her autograph on my taint
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
