Fuck appropriateness.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
