my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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