they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
