omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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