he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
