I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
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