I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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