mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
