I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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