just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize