Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
