I'm jealous of your bromance
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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