i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
