he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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