i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize