I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
