he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
sex in a hospital.. check
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
