I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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