Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
