Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
