Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
