The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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