I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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