I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
