Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
