Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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