Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
