I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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