There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
