I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
