i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
