Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize