your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
