should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
