I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
