I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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