I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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