And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
