he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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