i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
