Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
