I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
