it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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