You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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