if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
