The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
