Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
