we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
