I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
