Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
