What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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