He is such a slut. More and more my type.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
