A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
