I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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