I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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